"Complicated" People

   We all know people in our families who are "complicated" - people who have highs and lows, or require more maintenance than everyone else. Sometimes these people bring  joy and elation and sometimes they bring concern and fear. The problem is that this type of personality wreaks havoc on the world by their inability to tone down their strong reactions to things.
   The definition of "complicated" varies from case to case. My favorite person in the Whole World was my grandfather (who was probably manic-depressive). My experience with him was always positive. He was always exciting. Nothing was ever routine around him and I loved that. His world was more  imaginative than the regular world, but I never saw his mean side. Many years later I learned that he was a cruel husband and over-bearing father, and that his biting criticism left generations of insecurity and rivalry. My Mother-in-law was mentally and physically abused by her father and her subsequent instability and poor life-decisions caused generations of difficulties - some of her children faired better than others. My mother's alcoholic parents only had one child and they delegated childrearing responsibilities to nannies, which resulted in a difficult life for my Mom.
   All of these people were "complicated" and left confusion in their wake.  But someone, in turn, had done something to them.
   I bet that everyone can tell a variation of these stories because everyone's life has been affected by "complicated" people's lives. Life does not protect any of us from the possibility that mental-illness or alcoholism or some reaction to hardship will strike. It is virtually impossible to avoid. I have not met one person who cannot tell you about a sad and shocking reality that really exists where paint tries to cover some crack somewhere in their family tree, their neighborhood, their work-place...
   We will all be affected by parents, spouses, bosses, cops, coaches, or friends who are still trying to smooth jangled nerves. How do some of us thrive and some crumble when exposed to the same unpredictable and shifting foundations? Having the innate qualities, or developing the skills needed to deal with these fragile and "complicated" people is an important tool for getting through life!