E.Q.

  It seems to me that the ultimate motivators in life are positive things like enthusiasm, energy, vision, etc. That is not to say that goals can always be achieved without negative stingers like deadlines, and complaints. But what I have been thinking today is that people seem so much more ahead of the game if they possess a generally positive demeanor - or - a high EQ.
  Studies have proven over and over again how bad it is to be negative. In an article by Robin Stern, Ph.D.from Columbia University, the author says, "What skill is the best predictor of life success? Why is it that some children grow up to be fulfilled adults in challenging careers and satisfying relationships, while others from apparently similar backgrounds and academic performance, struggle in relationships, dead-end careers and depressions?... Studies show that EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is the best predictor of a child's future achievement; better than any other single factor. In fact, EQ is a better predictor of success than IQ and technical skills combined."

What is EQ? The author defined EQ as basically 5 different things:
1) Mood management: The ability to handle and manage difficult feelings; control impulses and handle anger constructively! Staying even-keeled.
2) Self Awareness: The ability to understand and identify feelings. Also, being able to understand how your own actions affect others.
3) Empathy: Showing people that you care about them.
4) Self-Motivation: Setting goals and persevering toward them with optimism and hope, even in the face of set-backs.
5) Strong Relationships: Keeping friends, collaborating, cooperating.

  These seem like easy things to some people, but come easier to some than to others. To some extent they can be innate qualities but can also be instilled from years of satisfactory and productive experiences in the world of school, families, work and marriage. The good news is that social and emotional skills can be learned and enhanced at any age.*
  Who knew that having a generally positive demeanor was more than half the battle in life?
  Howard Gardner, a developmental psychologist from Harvard, developed the Theory of Multiple Intelligences in 1983. He listed 7 different types of intelligences that he said the brain was capable of. They are: Linguistic, Logical-mathematical, spatial, bodily-kinestetic, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal. He also stated that the greatest predictor for success was not possessing mathematical or logical intelligence, but, was possessing high interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence.
  Neuroticism is the opposite of Emotional Intelligence. Neuroticism is described as a tendency to act on feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, guilt or depression. Not optimistic sentiments.
  In an article in the December, 2010 issue of the Economist called The U-Bend of life, the author asked, "what makes people successful?" His conclusion was "....Two personality traits shine through..neuroticism and extroversion. Neurotic people are not just prone to negative feelings, they also have low emotional intelligence... Whereas neuroticism tends to make for gloomy types, extroversion does the opposite. Those who like working in teams and who relish parties tend to be happier than those who shut their office doors or hole up in their homes."
  According to Gardner, every person is born with some intelligence of value to society. All we need to do is tap in to our most positive interpersonal and intrapersonal skills to be the most successful we can be.

*Robin Stern - Columbia University